love

I've been holding back my love.
What is it Rose?
Just that. I've been holding back.
Oh. Ok. What do you have to say?
Where I've been and why I can't just tell you.
Why don't you just say it?
Because you would think the worst. Despite this, it does come from the very best of me.
Yes. I think I understand. So tell.
With each lover I wanted something better.
That's it? We all wanted this.
I think so. I understand but I believe my experience to be exceptional.
You're arrogant. But I love you.
We are mostly arrogant, most of us.
So we are the same then?
Yes. So with each lover I wanted something better.
OK, why are you telling me this?
I think maybe because I'm confused.
Well then, unburden yourself boy.
Confessionals?
Something like this.
When I left Buttercup I was torn up, I wanted her love so badly.
You're impatient.
Yes, but this love required reciprocation.
And what if you're wrong? A myth. A sad reveler. Weak.
Then I die that thing. That's the risk.
Sad.
You think?
I think you are justifying yourself.
But God screams at me. I've got stories and those hit me like a bag of bricks. Those twirl in motion.
But you leave a wake.
Waves settle.
But you cause pain to others.
Pain results in reaction. You do it too.
This is not about me.
I see. So I cause pain?
Yes.
Convenient.
Not so much.
(silence)
Rose?
Yes.
Will you want me after this.
I think so.
OK.
(pause) Do you hear this music?
Yes honey, I hear it.
What do you hear?
Soft chords, more.
I hear the lyrics above them.
What are they?
They say I want you but you are a distant beast and I am a beast.
Sounds campy, swooning.
Maybe...
But maybe sincere.
I love you.
I love you too.

And in that soft moment I thought of her soft belly and her soft desires and everything that I so fully loved and walked out on. That IS rumination says Frank. That's the very definition of it.
Thought about the past is rumination?
Uh, yes.
How do I stop it?
Think now.
Think now?
yes.
I'll try.
(silence)
Pain will help.
(silence)
I'll try.
Don't try. Just go.
I see.
Maybe.
Maybe.