video, possible

I like to floss when I drive. That's right, when I'm driving my car I like to floss my teeth. One time, on several occasions actually, on my way up to Canada instead of stopping for fast food I would stop and buy floss so I could clean my teeth when I drove. I'd kind of put my elbows on the wheel, pull out a long strand and go to work. Sniffing the floss in between each pluck to identify problem areas. Then when I was done I'd look around the car for a place to stash the soiled strand while moving on to choose new music, hidden in burned CD's behind the heavy visor or flipping through the mp3's looking for something heartbreaking and somber. Somber music makes me feel better, a little less lonely because I know others are feeling the same longing. The longing I was born with, some call it an anxiety disorder but anxiety disorders are too expensive so I call it being human. That is, until I go overboard into the impossible. And that's what I do. If life could be shortened to a plunge, the time it takes to get from the edge of the cliff to the canyon floor and all the thoughts that come in between, to the seasoned adventurer this is, to the hardened who accept the fall, then all of this writing and vision and philosophy and art is that thought. That's one way to put it anyway. God's ashen plume, awaiting injury on impact and judgment on ascent. I know, I know, this God stuff, what a mess. All part of the plummet, like a dart, into the heart of it. What heart? What it?

I love you. I'll just take what I can get.
I don't know Rose, you can't say those things.
'Those things' what things? But I knew, I knew what she was talking about already. In a quest for absolution I say the impossible. By this point, it's old hat, no cussing and no idiocy but the thing that just can't be had. Meet me on the moon type stuff. Have faith enough to rise from your bed and walk and live forever and eradicate all disease and dissension and anything else you have coming at you. Then what. Silence.
It is all delivered back in one huge mirrored punch. All of it. Without a word.

I want to bring good things to the family.
We are not the judge, someone else is.
Who?
I don't fucking know, God?
God? C'mon. Pony up.
Huh?

video.